DAY 39: Well, Isn’t This A Fine Kettle Of Fish!

I went to see my doctor today. I found out that after one month of watching what I eat and going to the Y at least 3-4 times a week (and actually doing the exercises, not just driving there, making a U-turn and then driving home), my weight has…. Wait for it…  Gone UP by 2 pounds.

When stuff like this happens to me I get very discouraged. I say to myself that I should just give it up. I should just throw in the towel, admit that this is the way I look and I should just get used to it.

They say the older you get the harder it is to lose weight. They say that certain prescription drugs can sabotage your weight loss efforts. And they say that inside every fat girl there is a skinny girl screaming to get out.

As it turns out, my inner skinny girl is a bitch who loves to quote Lady Macbeth. I hear her right now, shouting loud and clear in my ear. She’s saying:

“Screw your courage to the sticking place, and we shall not fail!”

Well, Lady Macbeth, you win. No more Mrs. Nice Guy! I am going to get religious about this diet and exercise thing (and not just on Christmas and Easter!).

So bring it on, inner skinny bitch. Bring it on!

And you out there, if anybody's reading this, don’t forget to fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

Peace/Love,

Betsy

Day 29: Caution! Shameless Self-Promotion Ahead! Continue At Your Own Risk!

I wrote a book last year. Well, actually I finished it last year, I started it back in 1996. It's called Dreaming of Sicily ~ A Travel Memoir and it describes my first trip to the beautiful island of Sicily. The book is illustrated with 39 beautiful watercolors by Kathleen Citrolo Gwinnett. I've shown a few examples of her paintings in this blog post. If you would like to see more of Ms. Gwinnett's lovely watercolors, please visit her website at: http://www.gwinnett-art.com/

Dreaming of Sicily 

 A Travel Memoir

The prime motivation for my first trip to Sicily was to visit Santa Elisabetta, a small town in the Province of Agrigento, where my paternal grandparents were born, raised and married before immigrating to America in the early 1900’s. I had no way of knowing if our family had a connection to this town anymore, or if, like my grandparents, all of our relatives had moved to other parts of the world. I am happy to report that I found several relatives – my grandfather’s youngest sister, Nina, who was 92 years old when I met her, and my grandmother’s two nieces, both now in their 80’s, daughters of her youngest sister Liboria.

Santa Elisabetta Rooftops

However, this book is not only about my visit to Santa Elisabetta. There are stories from all the wonderful places my husband and I visited on that first trip to Sicily: flying into Catania, a magical stay in Taormina, Cefalu’s beautiful Duomo and the delightful custom of the passaggiata, Erice’s foggy perch on top of Mount Erice, and Agrigento’s mesmerizing Valle dei Templi.

Mt. Etna Volcano

There are humorous travel tips that will keep you laughing throughout the book, while poignant encounters with native Sicilians will prove that meeting everyday people in a foreign land is the most entertaining and authentic way to experience a country. 

Temple of Concord in the
Valley of the Temples

Kathleen Citrolo Gwinnett illustrates the book with 39 evocative watercolor paintings, each painting related to the story itself. She is a second generation Sicilian-American artist who has also traveled (and painted!) extensively throughout Sicily. 

Sicilian Caretto

This book will have special meaning for Sicilian-Americans who are curious about their Sicilian roots, and perhaps spur them into visiting the beautiful island of their ancestors.

Dreaming of Sicily is available through Amazon.com as a paperback book or you can download it to you computer (or Kindle) for instant access. 

I hope you will forgive the shameless self-promotion of my first book. 
But hey, somebody's gotta promote it, why not me?

Peace/Love,
Betsy

Day 22: It Was A Lot Easier To Get Out Of Shape Than It Is To Get In Shape!

You would think, all things being equal, that getting into shape would be just as easy as it was to get out of shape. But that's not how it works. It's a lot tougher getting that shape back. I joke to my friends that I'm in shape now; after all, round is a shape. Unfortunately, it's the not shape I want.  

It's strange to look at pictures of myself from 30 years ago. I looked great, and yet I remember spending way too much time hating myself for being overweight. I'll break it down for you: I was 5'9", 155 lbs. and wore a size '13.' Does that sound strange? Well, it should. 

If I knew anything about fashion I would have known that I was trying to stuff my hourglass body into a Junior Size 13. Why I thought I was a size 13 completely baffles me; I wasn't a junior size 13 even when I was a junior in high school. But here I was in my 20's, it was the mid-1970's and my friends and I thought it was very cool to shop at 'The Limited' and trendy little fashion boutiques. Trouble was, these stores carried only sizes up to 13. So instead of going to another store that carried a woman's size 14, I tortured myself by trying to fit into a junior size 13.

I read an article online today, All About Fit -- Why don't clothes ever fit? by Cynthia Nellis that brought everything into focus. Ms. Nellis says that the reason nothing fits is because there is no standardization in women's sizes. A size 4 could be a size 8 or a size 2, depending on the manufacturer. The article is filled with little-known facts about women's sizes. A real eye-opener.

Anyway, why am I going on and on about how I looked 30 years ago? Because it is only now that I realize that I looked great back then. I beat myself up constantly over my weight and I'm still beating myself up. And that is why I have made this personal challenge for myself -- I don't want to beat myself up anymore. 

I know that even when I lose this weight and get into shape that I will not look like that smoking hot 20 something that I used to be. But I can look like an older and wiser smoking hot 50 something. 

And you know what they say... To become older and wiser, you first have to be young and stupid!

Peace/Love,

Betsy

Day 19: Okay.... My Bad...

Okay, so I'm not perfect. I'll be the first to cop to that one! Last week my right robo-knee (the one I had a total knee replacement on six months ago) swelled up and yeah, it hurt. So I took a few days to rest and ice it. I tried to do upper body exercises, but that just didn't work out.


Then this week I was bummed out because 1) I hadn't exercised for a week and 2) my hair looked atrocious. I always thought my hair was my best feature, so whenever I let it go it really wigs me out (no pun intended). And, although I love my hairdresser that I've been going to for about the last 15 years, I just end up with the same haircut and color and I wanted to mix it up a little this time. 


I googled hairdressers in my town and went to their websites. I was drawn to one that was owned by a hairdresser who had worked for many years in the Monterey/Carmel, California area, and since I lived for many years just north of there, I decided I'd give him a try. 


And I'm glad I did because I got a great haircut on Wednesday and today (Friday) I went in for a color. I had this idea that I would let my gray hair grow out and just be gray. When I had a regrowth of about an inch and half, I held my hands over the dyed brown ends and looked at myself with gray hair. It took about 30 seconds for me to dive across my bed and dial the phone to make an appointment to get my hair dyed. 


Anyway, long story short, I'm beautifully coiffed and ecstatic with my new haircut and chocolate warm brown hair with golden highlights. Ahhhhh, now I don't feel 56 years old. I feel more like a 54 year old! Hair mission accomplished.


Now it's time to get back up on that big old exercise horse down at the YMCA and work up a sweat. Maybe after I lose a few pounds I'll feel like a 53 year old! 


Woo-hoo!


Peace/Love,
Betsy

Day 16: The Crying Game

It's been nearly a week since my right knee swelled up and made it impossible to get the exercise I promised myself every day. I am still only five months out of total knee replacement surgery and I still have numbness and tingling on that muscle called the IT Band.


Last week, after two weeks of daily exercise, my knee finally had enough and swelled up considerably. So I've been pretty much a slug for the past five days. My knee felt a little better today and the swelling went down but still not all the way. So I decided to give myself one more day of rest and ice on my knee.


So, what to do... what to do? Hmmmm. There were a lot of things I could have done; I'm in the middle of writing a memoir of my misspent hippie youth, but I just wasn't feeling particularly creative. I could have written this blog post, but nahhh. So what did I do? I indulged my inner actress and watched a movie (or two, as it turns out).


We recently got Comcast On Demand and I'm in heaven. Movies at my fingertips! So I scrolled through the movie offerings and came upon The Lovely Bones. Now, I knew what the movie was about because I read the book a few years ago, and I knew it was a sad story. But the movie nearly killed me! I cried practically through the whole thing and then off and on for the next couple of hours every time I thought about it.


And as if that wasn't enough of a bummer, I watched Nights in Rodanthe, a story that I was not familiar with. But I love Richard Gere and Diane Lane, they have such chemistry together. So I'm watching Nights in Rodanthe, hoping that this movie will have a happy ending to lift my spirits that were down from watching The Lovely Bones.


Well, I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone, so let's just say if you watch Nights in Rodanthe, bring tissues. Lots and lots of tissues. Between those two movies I think I cried my way through a whole box of Kleenex.


So here I sit, with my melted ice pack on my sore knee, wiping my eyes and feeling like a wet mop. I'm going to steer clear of movies for a while. You never know when one of them might sweep you away.


Peace/Love,
Betsy

Day 15: Some Days You Just Shouldn't Even Get Out Of Bed

I made the mistake of getting out of bed on Saturday morning. I was in a bad mood and so was my husband Eric. We tried to have some fun by going out but it didn't work. Then Sunday was even worse. 


He found out that I spent $300 on something that he disapproves of and that set him off. He came undone and told me that I don't love or respect him. I don't know where that came from. He doesn't think I love him even though I tell him ten times a day. Everything I do is for him but I guess he's just not feeling it. 


I know that I shouldn't have spent $300 of 'our' money on something that made me happy, but he blew it all out of proportion. I told him a million times I'm sorry but he's up on his high horse and there's no telling when he's coming down. 


This morning I put something on ebay and he said that if it sells, "It will go a long way toward redeeming yourself." I could have spent $300 on candy and he wouldn't have cared; but because I spent some money on myself without asking permission from him first, I'm in the doghouse.


Then I told him I didn't want to write this blog anymore because really, I am running out of things to say. And no one is reading it anyway, so what's the point? Then he said that he's 'disappointed in me,' that he 'has to move forward,' whatever that means. 


Well, I guess I will continue this blog; God forbid I should disappoint anybody, even though it's the only thing I do really well. If nothing else it will give me a chance to vent my feelings.


Peace/Love,
Betsy

Day 12: Que Sera, Sera... Whatever Will Be, Will Be...

I am definitely not feeling the love (of exercise) today. Not that I ever did, but I'm trying to keep a positive face on my predicament. It's been 12 days since my mind tripped fantastically on the insane idea of exercising every day for the next 365 days. What in the world was I thinking?


I could have made my promise just to myself, not letting anyone in on the secret, and when the whole thing came crashing down upon my head, I could have just forgotten about it. But then I had the bright idea to "blog about it." Put it out there for everyone to see! Although, no one really seems to have read my blog as of yet; so far it looks like I'm the only visitor. But maybe that will change. Or maybe not. I'm prepared for anything.


But I don't mind telling you that I am a little bothered by the fact that I don't feel any different, even after 12 consecutive days of 'break a sweat' exercise and sensible food choices. My husband says that I think of my journey so far as twelve long days, when really I should be thinking 'it's only been twelve days.' I guess I'll have to take my own advice from Day 1 of my blog: "If you can't change something, then change the way you think about it."



I'm going to keep on with my quest toward becoming fit, even though there's no visible light at the end of this tunnel, but I have to say that I'm glad it's the weekend. Saturday and Sunday I swim instead of going to the gym. And that will be a nice change.


Peace/Love,
Betsy